Mutations
Swathed in sun,
sky sheer,
the sighing sift of air then
windrushes,
grass blades flickering lightfast
like metronomes,
two magpies mewling
in the gutter, sneering moss
onto the lawn. Beaks,
I think of scissors poised
to slice,
place a drink to my lips
and as the warm liquid flows
it is not clear where it
ends and I begin,
skin dissolves
into motion,
my face follows,
a solution,
flowing,
I am flowing
through a pinhole.
For Totally Optional Prompts on transformation.
Tags: metamorphosis, poetry, TOP
May 8, 2008 at 12:56 pm
lovely…”not clear where it ends and I begin”
May 8, 2008 at 2:23 pm
an idea - how about arrange this so all capitalization and punctuation can be removed? my poem…i would try.
very tangible. a subtle music.
enjoyed.
May 8, 2008 at 3:15 pm
isnt it wonderful,, that feeling that comes with recognizing that you have grown.. i am beginning to feel whole again,, after a years worth of distortion and grief… i am ever so happy to know you to are feeling somewhat lighter,, and more alive.
May 8, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Wonderful feeling this..lightness. I am looking forward to feel like that!
changling
May 8, 2008 at 4:37 pm
light an airy.. a nice perk me up in the middle of the day
May 8, 2008 at 5:56 pm
very nice - image and flow.
May 8, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Scott you and your punctuation, (laughing), I wrote one the day before yesterday without, I’m holding onto those little circles and hooks for now. When I put it back in my files, I might have a fiddle. Thanks for stopping by, I’ll be over to you later.
Thanks Lissa, Paisley, Gautami, Kassandra, Richard (I’ll be over to read yours later).
May 8, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Jo, you are just SO good at dropping us right into the experience, rather than just showing it to us with pretty words. I always come away from reading your poems feeling as if I’ve traveled somewhere - a visceral experience. I am in awe of this skill of yours.
May 8, 2008 at 8:21 pm
I see a transformation from an expansive sky to a tiny pinhole, with the other images and feelings along the way, like a huge spiral coming to a tip. This poem is very subtle, well crafted, and beautiful to read.
May 8, 2008 at 8:40 pm
“metronome” has got to be one of my most favorite words!
May 8, 2008 at 10:49 pm
through a pinhole–like the close
May 8, 2008 at 11:33 pm
This is great, but what isn’t great that you post?
May 9, 2008 at 1:07 am
your descriptive powers never fail to place me in the place you’re describing. i really like this one. i’ll have to think about the last half a bit but that probably won’t hurt me.
May 9, 2008 at 4:07 am
Become your thoughts; sadly, it’s only available in dreams
May 9, 2008 at 6:48 am
I’m fascinated by your magpies…
May 9, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Ah this is why i have been so thirsty…I havnt been here to slake my thirst
.And i was going to go for a diabeties test..how silly of me.
May 9, 2008 at 1:34 pm
“place a drink to my lips
and as the warm liquid flows
it is not clear where it
ends and I begin,
skin dissolves
into motion”
~Jo! These lines are poetic heaven….I’m in awe.
May 9, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Thank you, yippee Enigma, how lovely to see you here my dear, and Tina, thank you so much for stopping by
May 9, 2008 at 7:59 pm
hey, that means you can get into heaven right?
y aknow the saying about it being easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into heaven…
well, if you can get through a pinhole…
OK, I don’t think I’m making any sense
May 9, 2008 at 9:58 pm
I love the images produced by these lines.
May 10, 2008 at 12:53 am
Don’t you just love that word ‘mewling’ and ‘flowing through a pinhole’ Yeah!
May 10, 2008 at 8:17 pm
This one was OK.
May 14, 2008 at 1:38 am
simply stunning poem, makes me feel as if I’m breathing in light.
May 15, 2008 at 4:05 am
I love the imagry in this poem Jo — it just transports you. “Grass blades flickering lightfast like metronomes,” is just breathtaking.
(And I love the phrase “sneering moss”
)
May 16, 2008 at 4:15 pm
there are some startling metaphors and similes in there.
I loved the grassblade/metronome line best.